


Apocalypse

by Wolfsbride



Category: British Actor RPF, James Bond (Movies) RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Crack, F/M, Older Woman/Younger Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfsbride/pseuds/Wolfsbride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some zombies don't want brains at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Persiflage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/gifts).



Daniel curses when the car he and Judi are escaping in sputters and dies. The speed reduces gradually until they coast to a stop with Daniel still twisting the key violently. The motor groans and chugs but refuses to catch no matter how loudly he swears. 

Judi looks over her shoulder. “I hate to be a drag but I think we are doomed.” 

Daniel turns. His level of profanities increases at the sight that greets him. The rampaging horde of zombies is closer than he’d expected and whoever was responsible for imbuing them with enough smarts to operate machinery is going to get a face full of his fist. Assuming they survive.

The rhythmic chanting of brains over and over again gets louder as they approach, rising high over the drone of the motorcycle engines. Biker zombies. Daniel never thought the day would come when he’d be glad to see regular shuffling dead people

He scans the car rapidly looking for anything that might be a weapon. “Out,” he says, popping the boot. “Get out. Maybe there’s something we can use. 

Judi eyes him incredulously even as she’s scrambling out of the car. “There’s only two of us.”

Daniel scowls. “I know that, but damned if I’m going to go down without a fight.”

A look in the boot turns up nothing though. Daniel has a moment to wish he’d hotwired a more equipped car or possibly just hijacked a tank and then they are surrounded, zombie bikers circling them like Indians attacking a wagon train.

“Brains. Brains. Brains.”

Yeah, yeah. Brains. Daniel figures these guys are brainy enough. There’s nothing to be done. There are too many of them to fight in spite of his words to Judi a few minutes before. He reaches out to her, gaze still focused on the ring of zombies. He’s gratified when her fingers tangle with his and she squeezes his hand, her own grip steady as a rock. That’s his girl.

The chanting fades away and Daniel figures the zombies are going to attack any second now. He’s proven right when the ring of zombies closes tightly, rotted bodies pressing forward. Skeletal hands reach out, clawing at their clothes and hair. Before any damage can be done though, something crashes through the brush that lines the side of the road. 

Over Judi’s head, he spies another group of zombies coming towards them. Just great. There’s something different about this new group though. Instead of brains they’re chanting boobs and he stands bemused as instead of joining the first group of zombies, they attack them.

“Should we run?” Judi asks out of the side of her mouth. 

Daniel considers. They might be able to get away while the two groups are distracted. With luck, they may even kill each other off. “Yes.” 

Keeping a hold of Judi’s hand, the two of them tiptoe away from the melee that is happening. They don’t get very far before a shout of boobs sounds the alarm. They are quickly over taken by the second group of zombies who take a keen interest, not in their brains but in their bodies. The chanting of boobs swells as they swarm Judi fondling her voluptuous assets. 

She squeaks and Daniel tries to get to her in order to protect her virtue. He quickly realizes he’s got his own problems. 

“Um.” Daniel looks wide eyed at plump zombie that is currently unfastening his trousers. He looks at Judi, unsure of what to make of the whole phenomena. The zombies have managed to bare her torso and are worshiping her in a way that makes him very jealous. Apparently, they’re having a zombie orgy.

Judi looks back at him. “Well,” she says wryly. “It’s better than the _other_ sort of eaten.”

**Author's Note:**

> My vision of the zombie apocalypse... while the other zombies are all BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS... the denchnuts zombies will be all BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS


End file.
